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Satire
Demanding that we end the elitists, socialist plan that allows politicians, civil servants, military, veterans, old people, and the poor to live off the public teat by receiving free or cheap health insurance, while everyone else has to pay for it and buy their own, the Republican leader brazenly suggested it be opened to the free market by allowing citizens to "buy in".
"Its ridiculous," the Speaker said, choking back tears, "we should not be keeping products, created by and for Americans, out of the American market place. How is that Democracy or Capitalism? Both require competition, and the people have created a good product to compete with."
Several Democrats within earshot of the Speaker appeared confused by the sudden change in tactics, and refused to comment. Gathering in circle they could be heard reciting their famed chant, "whadowedo whadowedo".
Supporting the idea, Rep. Cantor added, "Do you know how much more money Medicare would have if there were people paying in that weren't dying? A lot. I don't know if you realize this, but old people are sick all the time. And healthcare is expensive."
When asked, former Governor Romney suggested that everyone should be required to be on Medicare, and then said Medicare should be eliminated a few moments later.
Former Speaker Gingrich said he thought we should dump the old people and put only young blond women on his lap Medicare.
Ron Paul and Rick Santorum said something that no one paid any attention to, creating a new ancient Buddhist proverb: If a politician speaks and the media ignores him, does he really exist?
Boehner went on to call for President Obama to "stop protecting this elitist system that has all Americans paying for just a few, and open these services to all Americans. Today. If we put all government plans into Medicare and let Americans buy in, we can save American's money, and save medicare by selling an American made product in the marketplace. Its just good business."
To which Cantor and Senate Minority leader Mitchell replied, "Good business!"
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other news:
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Paris: Election on hold after all parties concede before voting starts.
